why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
