im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
