one two three fourrrrnication!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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