Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The air was thick with penises
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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