shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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