If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
