You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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