woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
