if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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