you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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