If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
