peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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