Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
