There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
