i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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