my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
