is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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