Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
