I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
