it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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