If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
