That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
