can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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