Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
