I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
