I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I touched a dick in church today
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
