hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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