I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize