THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
