it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
