i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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