what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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