My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
