i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
