You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize