the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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