He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
