he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
