CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
this just has baby written all over it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
