Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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