would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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