I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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