this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize