i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
