Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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