I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
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