Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
