My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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