sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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