So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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