she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
