Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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