oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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