dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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