There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
