my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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