my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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