I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
