I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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