i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
