a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize