woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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