I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
