At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
