dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
