theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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