Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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