so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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