Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
